Tag: inadequacy

I Detest Cleaning

January 11, 2018

Hey Everyone,

Growing up the house that I grew in was deplorable. Plain and simple. My step-dad had a large dog, German Shephard that shed all year long, he smoked inside the house, leaving cigarette butts everywhere, food wasn’t left out to mold because us kids would eat it too fast for it to go to waste. The blinds, curtains, and walls had layers and layers of smoke stains and dust covering them. There was no natural light let into the house almost at any time. The only time I ever saw cleaning being accomplished was on the super rare occasion that my dad decided to throw a party. By the time I was 18, everyone passed on the parties.

After getting kicked out the day I turned 18, I had no idea how to properly clean or do any household maintenance, outside of laundry. It was very nerve-wracking. And here’s the even bigger kicker, I was actually expected to be the housecleaner for the person who took me in when I was 18. Let’s just say that they must have had a heart of gold to put on with my mediocre housecleaning.

Once Husband and I got married and had our own place, it was frustrating to be able to see messes and not know how to properly clean them, or do basic house maintenance. I didn’t even know how often to change a toothbrush or wash sheets/blankets. It was very pathetic.

Husband was also not the best at cleaning up after himself either and with a young child in the household, the house was not as messy as the house I grew up in, but it was definitely not very cleanly,  I hate to say.

After a while, I found this great blog The Confident Mom. It was in a time in my life where something had to change, otherwise, I had a fear of not being able to be a good enough mom to my boys. For the last three years, I have been using her weekly household planner to help keep my house much cleaner than I had. It was the best free investment that I found.

Now that I had a what to clean and how often I then had to find out how to clean, and what products to use. At first, it was hard because I was almost working from the ground up and many of our things had caked on food and gunk. Limiting myself to 15 minutes a night focusing on the tasks before I would actually be interested in accomplishing the task of cleaning was paramount to where I am now on this cleaning achievement.

Even though I’m not perfect and I do get off track on the cleaning schedule, similarly to during OEP, the mess around the house makes me anxious. I get distracted by everything and just feel the need to clean it up or snap at anyone around who is making the mess. It is reprehensible how I respond, but it just gets on my nerve.

With that being said, I detest the act of cleaning. I feel inadequate with learning the basics at such an adult age when I should have been learning from childhood, and also how much effort it sometimes takes to do certain tasks, like laundry because we don’t have washer and dryer hookups in our apartment.

Let’s just keep going though, we have so much to learn.

Stay on the journey.

See you on the other side.

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